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Responsibility vs Blame: How to Take Back Your Control

We have all been dealt a bad hand a time or two, or ten.

The disappointment, frustration, anger or sadness that a bad situation exposes can lead you down a path of pure exhaustion and have you basking in negativity. 

One of the easiest and most natural reactions is to point the finger at others.  Placing blame may even provide you with a momentary sense of relief.  And that relief, although temporary, can tempt you to further perpetuate the blame game.  Before you know it, the attribution list grows and suddenly your life’s woes are everyone or everything else’s fault. 

The promotion you didn’t achieve?  Your boss did nothing to help advance you.

Your relationship is in the toilet?  Clearly your partner’s poor communication skills are the issue.

No time in your day to exercise or cook a healthy meal?  Blame your child’s activity calendar.

Your team at work is disengaged and under-performing?  The team is purposely working against you.

When you focus on pointing the finger, what you are really doing is handing over control to someone or something else.  You are giving up your power over the situation and waving the white flag of surrender. 

If the lens you look through is framed in blame, then it will be quite difficult to change the situation.

Truth is, the way you perceive any situation will frame how you choose to handle it.  If you tend to view your circumstances from a place of blame you are likely to stay stuck – and quite frankly, miserable.  Stuck and miserable.  Sounds awful, doesn’t it?

So how do you take back your control?

You are in the driver’s seat of your life.  Blaming others is like handing them the keys. 

If you allow yourself to see those same situations from a place of taking responsibility, then you create an opportunity to move forward.

Making a conscious decision to acknowledge your involvement in every situation will ultimately shine a bright light on the opportunities you have to change your circumstances.  Confirming your role and owning responsibility will clear the way for you to take back control and create a new path or plan to play whatever hand you were dealt.

How will you make the decision to view these situations through a different lens?  For some, an intentional pause that creates space for a conscious choice is enough.  Take a moment to decide what type of new thinking serves you best to support such a changed outlook.

Imagine what could change for you when you choose to take responsibility for your current situation!