We all have that little voice in our heads—the one that whispers self-doubt, magnifies our mistakes, and tells us we’re not good enough. This inner critic can be relentless, holding us back from growth, happiness, and success. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to listen to it. You have the power to challenge, quiet, and even transform that voice. Learning how to tap into your inner coach versus your inner critic is key to silencing those negative thoughts and refocusing on the positive, healthy mindset needed to move forward and make progress.
In this post, we’ll explore 10 of the best ways to silence your inner critic—each paired with a simple, actionable exercise to help you implement these strategies in your daily life.
What is your inner coach?
Your inner coach is the voice of wisdom, resilience, and self-compassion within you. While your inner critic magnifies your flaws and doubts, your inner coach reminds you of your strengths, lessons learned, and the progress you’ve made. It speaks to you the way a great mentor, friend, or coach would—offering encouragement, constructive feedback, and a belief in your potential!
The voice of your inner coach reframes your inner critic like this:
- Your inner critic says: “You’ll never be good at this.”
- Your inner coach says: “Everyone starts somewhere. Keep practicing, and you’ll improve.”
- Your inner critic says: “You always mess things up.”
- Your inner coach says: “Mistakes are how you learn. What can you do differently next time?”
Your inner coach is always there, you just need to turn down the volume on your inner critic and tune into the voice that pushes you forward with kindness and wisdom.
10 Ways to Quiet Your Inner Critic and Wake up Your Inner Coach
1. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Your inner critic thrives on exaggeration and lies. The next time it tells you “You’re not good enough,” pause and ask yourself: Is this actually true? What real evidence do I have? Challenging the exaggerations with truths helps to build your “evidence bank” and gradually replaces self-defeating thoughts with rational, empowering ones.
Practice Exercise:
Write down a negative thought your inner critic often repeats. Then, challenge it by listing three pieces of evidence that contradict it. For example:
- Negative Thought: “I always fail at new things.”
- Contradicting Evidence: “I learned how to cook, I got a promotion, I’ve successfully solved tough problems before.”
2. Practice Self-Compassion
Speak to yourself the way you’d talk to a close friend. When you make a mistake, instead of harsh self-judgment, try saying: “It’s okay, I’m human. I’m learning and growing.” Self-compassion builds resilience and quiets self-doubt.
Practice Exercise:
Write yourself a letter, or journal, as if you were encouraging a close friend who’s feeling down. Read it whenever your inner critic gets loud. Want and additional boost of self-compassion? Read the letter out loud to allow yourself to speak and hear your own words for greater, positive impact.
3. Cultivate Self-Awareness
Pay attention to when and why your inner critic shows up. What triggers it? Who triggers it? Awareness is the first step to taking back control and reframing the negative narrative.
Practice Exercise:
Keep a journal for one week and jot down moments when your inner critic speaks up. Note the situation, what it said, and how you felt. Look for patterns—awareness is the first step to change!
4. Practice Gratitude
Focusing on what you appreciate about yourself shifts your mindset from lack to abundance. Keep a gratitude journal and list three things you’re proud of each day.
Practice Exercise:
Every morning, write down one thing you appreciate about yourself. It can be a personality trait, a skill, or something you accomplished recently. Over time, you’ll retrain your brain to focus on your strengths. You’ll begin to notice you “show up” differently and with a more positive, grace-centered approach.
5. Celebrate Your Wins
Your inner critic loves to minimize your achievements. Counteract this by celebrating even small victories. Acknowledge your progress—it matters!
Practice Exercise:
Create a “Wins Jar” where you write down small and big achievements on slips of paper. Whenever self-doubt creeps in, read through them as a reminder of how far you’ve come. If you are a teen or young adult, consider creating a “Wall of Fame” in your bedroom, or some place where you can refer to it often! It’s a fun way to take a trip down memory lane of your accomplishments but still keep them front and center to remind yourself of what you are capable of!
6. Reframe Your Inner Dialogue
The way you talk to yourself shapes your reality. Instead of saying “I’ll never be good at this,” say “I’m improving with practice.” Language is powerful—use it to your advantage.
Practice Exercise:
Each time you catch yourself thinking negatively, reframe it into a positive or neutral statement. For example:
- Negative: “I’m terrible at public speaking.”
- Reframed: “I’m working on becoming a more confident speaker, and I improve each time I practice.”
7. Use Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations help retrain your brain to focus on your strengths. Repeat phrases like “I am worthy,” “I am capable,” or “I trust myself” daily to build confidence.
Practice Exercise:
Write down three affirmations that counteract your most common self-doubts. Say them out loud every morning and night for 30 days. Get creative with where you place your affirmations – post sticky notes on the fridge, use dry erase marker and write them on the bathroom mirror, create a simple jpeg in Canva and make it the lock screen on your phone!
8. Take Action Despite Fear
Action is the antidote to self-doubt. Your inner critic loses power when you prove to yourself that you can do hard things. Start small, but start.
Practice Exercise:
Choose one thing you’ve been avoiding due to fear or self-doubt. Break it into the smallest possible step and commit to doing it today. Progress, no matter how small, weakens your inner critic.
9. Limit Comparison
Comparison fuels self-criticism. Remember that social media often showcases highlights, not reality. Focus on your unique journey instead of measuring yourself against others.
Practice Exercise:
Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger self-doubt. Replace them with inspiring, uplifting content that makes you feel empowered.
10. Seek Support and Perspective
Sometimes, an outside perspective is exactly what you need to break free from self-doubt. Talk to a trusted friend, coach, or mentor who can remind you of your strengths. If you find you need extra support on top of those suggestions, consider reaching out to a counselor. There are many great therapy apps available to access as well!
Practice Exercise:
Identify one supportive person in your life and schedule a conversation with them. Share one area where you’re struggling with self-doubt and ask for their honest perspective.
Keep your Inner Coach Empowered
Your inner critic doesn’t define you, you do. While that voice may never fully disappear, you now have the tools to turn down its volume and rewrite the narrative. Every time you challenge self-doubt, practice self-compassion, and take action, you reclaim your power.
So, the next time your inner critic tries to hold you back, remember you are more capable, resilient, and worthy than you think. Speak to yourself with kindness, celebrate your growth, and move forward with confidence. The world needs the fullest version of you. Empower your inner coach and silence your inner critic!